We have a myriad of relationships in our life.
We thrive on attention from our parents, our kids, sometimes our siblings and mostly from our spouses or partners.
Some of us have friends that we cannot function without.
Humans being social animals are programmed to seek the comfort of another human and a social structure and community. But there is a fine line between pleasurable and loving relationships and the need to cling and rely on the relationships that are important part of our lives.
Quite a long time ago when I was going through an emotional and physical crises in my life that led to my subsequent metamorphosis, I came to a realization about relationships that helped me to navigate life in a healthier manner internally.
I understood that relationships are a framework of support based on which you can heal, aim, move forward or rest. What relationships are not is actual support. No one, no matter how close they are to you, can feel your euphoria or your pain in actuality or entirety. They can sympathize with you celebrate with you, be happy or sad for you and understand maybe the actual feeling of your pain but they cannot be you. Consequently they can support you and love you through your victories or failures but they cannot be held responsible for either.
True power lies in understanding that it is within your own mind, heart and soul that the perfect relationship lies. Yes you can use your relationships to express your fears, euphoria or dreams, but that’s exactly what the other person is. A pair of ears. Someone who can love you, feel you, be with you and feel pain or pleasure for you or through you. But only you are you. The lesson to be fully understood here is that we need to know that clinging to the sense of security or self-worth that our relationships with our beloved parents or our spouses or other near and dear ones will not help us love our selves. When your feelings are overwhelming you, you need to be your own biggest support, your biggest cheerleader and your best sympathizer.
From understanding this expression of my own oneness I overtime learned to give love and respect to myself too. I feel we cling to other people when we are frightened of our own company. When we don’t want to look within ourselves or when we don’t want to come to terms with who we really are. This realization of my own self being the one and only fount of my own life has probably been one of my most freeing realizations of life.