Feeling blue this Valentine’s day?
True that Allah has made us in pairs.
Even truer is the fact that we are hardwired to accept that decree and without a spouse or a significant other in our life we feel as if we are deprived of our other half. Like I said it’s how Allah programmed us.
But even truer is that in this day and age of exposure we are more enthralled with the idea of being in a relationship and have zero incentive to actually work at one. Therefore more and more people are dissatisfied with what they have or to be more precise “don’t have”.
Add the irrational projection of relationships all over the media and it is no wonder that a majority of people are unhappy and feel stifled in their relationships reaching out for the unattainable stars.
And then comes around a day like Valentines which everyone seems to take as a means to project how they view their spouses or partners and the pressure just becomes even more intense.
For the single and taken both. What we fail to understand is the very definition of the word love has evolved. The very essence of the yearning to love and to be loved by a significant other can no longer be defined by romance stories.
And then the love we already give and receive in our lives from relationships other than our partners seizes to matter in the face of a rocky relation with a spouse or the absence of a partner/spouse.
Maybe it’s because we are not thinking right….
Aren’t we today a more evolved and more sophisticated generation then the ones past?
When today we zealously guard our independence and we talk about not letting go of our empowerment we so easily forget that the rules have changed….
We fight for living the way we want to live without carrying the burden of all the expectations of family, relatives and clan codes that our parents and grandparents underwent.
And we have a right to live the way we want, I totally agree….
But understand that this severs bonds and ties and when we get to live the way we want to we also weaken ties that were created to keep us together.
We forget that we need to work hard on relationships. That no person is perfect and when we enjoy our right to live the way we want we cannot expect others to not want the same for themselves and that is where conflict arises.
But we fail to see it and understand it.
We just grasp for that perfect relation we imagine our Facebook friends to be enjoying or wait for something to come our way like in our fav romance novel or movie.
But while we yearn and seethe, in or out of a relationship we actually stop loving. We forget that love manifests itself in many ways and the love of a spouse or a partner is just one of the many loves that are a part of our lives. The love of a child, or the love of a parent or a friend can also be as emotionally fulfilling in our lives as that of a significant other. We just need to lose our preconceived notion of love and happiness and focus on the here and now. Nurture what we have, live it and the rest will always follow.
So don’t be blue this valentine’s day. Take it as an opportunity to evaluate the real love of your life and focus your energy into cultivating that relation or relations and see how the blue flies out the window.
Because remember the very definition of love has evolved and it’s time we catch up to the true meanings behind it.
The author of this post is enjoying singledom with ease and peace for the last 17 years and has taken the opportunity to write about love and relations given that Valentine’s is when this topic is at its most heated. You can find her other related posts here and here